I need some cheese for all this whine.

I have been wanting to write some kind of blog/tumblr/journal post for a little while, as kind of a this-year-so-far review, at least work-wise. Its going to be pretty whiney, so be prepared. 

Okay, so, this year was going to be awesome. 2015 began with me bursting with optimism and plans and ideas and positivity. Unfortunately TFF (Texas Furry Fiesta) in Feb was kind of a flop, for me personally. My sales were terrible, and I was horribly embarrassed by the AV team during my Closing Ceremonies charity auction. (They put the wrong artwork on the big screens, portraying me as an awful and inconsistent artist) I was mortified.

That aside, I was still pretty content. I was focusing on the positives like my awesome job with Wowhead. .. and then that came crashing down around me. I was laid off, from ZAM/Wowhead. It was no fault of my own, or my work, and I’m unable to disclose details, but it was pretty heartbreaking. At the time, I didn’t realise how much it would affect me, long-term.

I rebounded, forced myself to look at this as a new opportunity to have more freedom with my work (and I still see it that way), and to have more time for client based commissions, and all that. I made plans for an AWESOME BlizzCon Badge season, Glar helped me set up an awesome new order page, we figured out a new ordering process (batches, rather than one huge block), etc etc.
I had intended to take at least 5 batches of 20 orders, to give lots of people the chance of getting art. .. It is now September, and I only just finished batch 2.

My work drive, art mojo, motivation, whatever you want to call it, had plummeted into the negatives. It was a pretty major ‘funk’. The best word I can use to describe that empty self doubt sensation would be depression, I think? Either way, I felt useless. (it also sucks that I had a full group of Blizz badges that were going to be gifted by Wowhead, which won’t happen now. ): )
My plans for the rest of this BC Badge Season are minimal. I have a batch of badges for Midwinter that I am starting this weekend, and then a few to do as gifts and favors that I promised last year. I also have a few Blizzard ones to finish that I’ve started, and possibly a few others for close friends. But, I won’t be publically re-opening.

I feel like such a disappointment.
To myself, the community, my husband.
He supports me in doing the freelance art thing, this year I fell short. Our finances have suffered, especially with him getting laid off at the start of this year, and I know he has been frustrated.
I can’t thank him enough for how wonderful he has been.

Okay, enough whining.
I will still be doing the Badge auctions, with my fancy new frames for 2016. One Horde, one Alliance, and possibly a third Neutral? Not sure about the third one yet.
Either way, these auction badges will follow a format I’ll be using for 2016, in that the winners will receive a waist/hips upward portrait print of their character as well as their actual badge. I fell in love with what some of the other community artists have been doing, with giving people goodie bags and extras, so I’m joining in!

MORE POSITIVES? Well, I can talk about how much I love Blizzard Watch. They picked me up when I was down, and have hired me to do occasional work for them! They’re all wonderfully friendly and patient people, and have given me the chance to keep working in the fansite community. I can’t wait to give them all hugs in November.

I also want to take this chance to talk about my Patreon. I created it at the start of the year, and had been putting off launching it because I was worried no one would care, or think I’m dumb, or.. well, yeah. More self-doubt.
Finally, in August, I hit the ‘Launch’ button. I am so very, very glad I did. The support has been kind of life-changing. I went from a soulless husk to full of energy, the outpouring of love from the community has been so warming and wonderful, there really aren’t enough words to say how appreciative I am. I think it was the real turning point for the year, and I wish I had done it sooner. I’m very excited for the future of it, I want to figure out more rewards for patrons, and other fun stuff. I want to show and share the love.

As well as being very entrenched in Warcrafty things, its also known that I’m a new-ish member of the Furry community. I’ve been called ‘Furry-Lite’, I’m in love with the artwork and friends I’ve made, but I’m not ~deep~ into the genre.
I want to change that a bit, and get more involved. I’m going to be taking on more responsibilities for the next TFF, with working on Theme stuff, which is exciting! I’ve also been named as the Artist Guest of Honor for MFM 2016! (Memphit Fur Meet). I also intend to take more fur commissions, cause they are SUPER fun. :3

All in all, this has been a pretty poopy and disappointing year so far. But things are looking up!
I wanted to write up something for those still wanting to buy Badges, and were wondering why I screwed up so badly this pre-BlizzCon season. And, it helps to write things out. Gets it out of your brain.

Thank you, everyone, for putting up with me. <3 (and for reading all this drivel)

TLDR;
I’ve disappointed myself, and I feel like I’ve disappointed everyone else.
This year sucks, but things are starting to suck less.